Wednesday, December 15, 2010


Holy Crow! I can hardly believe Dexter is already five months old. Oh, how time flies. It seems only yesterday I was whining about getting him out of me, and now all that remains is the last couple of lbs that he left behind. Grrr... (We'll leave that for another post)

Today, for his five month mark, the little guy experienced his first haircut with the clippers. It was a trying job, but it had to be done. He has been sporting quite the little mop the last couple of months, and today I finally sat him down and worked my magic. I have to say, I think it turned out pretty good for a squirmy baby.

After the while ordeal was over he was exhausted and could hardly stay upright to have his picture taken. Which resulted in him sliding lower...

And lower...

And lower...until he was down for the count.

He did manage to sneak in one last smile before he gave up.

Happy Five Months Dexter!

Saturday, December 11, 2010

All The Beautiful People

For Dave's fall break from school we headed back to Utah to bless Dexter and spend some time with the fam. While we were there we were able to get together with Dave's family and take family pictures. Thanks to my awesome sister in-law Jenn for finding the photographer and doing all of the footwork to make this happen. I know it was a hassle for her and I am extremely grateful that she took on the task. The photographer did a fantastic job, and gave us a killer deal on the price. She was greatly under paid I will admit.

Anywho- there were so many pictures to choose from, but I tried to post just a couple of my favorites. Enjoy!

The whole Collard Family ~ Oh how we have grown in the past six years...

My little Collard Family...

Love Dexter's smoochy little cheeks.

Love Love Love this picture! There is nothing like seeing my boy with his dad...

The first picture is not from the photo shoot, but from the baby shower Jenn threw me back in May. See, what did I tell you, she is an awesome sister in-law. Anywho~ I thought it would be a neat thing to have a before an after picture of all three of the sister in-laws.

Each baby was born about a month apart.


And after...

Geez we look great!!!

And the newest additions...

Monday, November 1, 2010


This year the Collard family busted out the big guns guns and decided to take our Halloween holiday seriously. Aside from my constant downer attitude and resistance to dress up, Dave was still able to get us fabulously 'Potter-ized'.

Here you have Severus Snape, Professor Mcgonagall, and of course the boy who lived...our own little Harry Potter.

Dave was so frightening that it took me all night to be able to look him in the face. What started out as a very ugly drag queen turned into the most convincing Half Blood Prince I've ever seen. Notice his ability to stay in character for every picture.

I was not such a convincing Mcgonagall, without my glasses and black hair, but everyone seemed to catch on when they saw Dave and Dexter.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought Dexter could also pass for Simon the Chipmunk with these glasses. Just remove the cape, add a long blue t-shirt and vwa-la (no pun intended) Next years costume!

Dave doing his magic thing...

Friday, October 22, 2010


Let me make this perfectly clear, I do NOT condone the use of television as a babysitter for children, nor do I think it is okay to let children watch hours and hours of it a day. And in my defense I do divert Dexter's eyes when I catch him sucked into the flat screen. But...sometimes I watch PBS kids in the mornings with him because they have some very cute educational programs that I approve of.

Now I'll step off of my soap box.

Any-who. This morning he was fussing, and I needed something to hold his attention while I got dressed, so I turned on
Sid The Science Kid and propped him up in bed. I started getting dressed and when I turned around I couldn't help but crack up when I saw him. He was totally enamored with the show (or maybe just the bright colors), and he looked so big just sitting here that I had to grab the camera and snap a quick pic.

Now, tell me I don't have a little science nerd(Dave is the big science nerd), sitting in his boyscout shirt, watching a science show. I seriously love this kid.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

It's Haircut Time

Well, I tried to hold off, but Dexter's straggly hair was driving me crazy. So, I finally grabbed my sheers and had my way with the little guy. Dave, being the good father he is, held him still while I took off a good 1/2 inch on top. It was virtually painless for all three of us. But I did feel a little sadness removing some of that dark hair. Now he is sporting his new blond due, which is getting lighter and lighter every day.

He looks so cute in his new haircut I can barely keep my lips off of him.

Saturday, October 9, 2010


Hello All! I decided to post the pictures that I sent out in the email and posted on Facebook, due to multiple people who couldn't open the attachments. Sorry, I am a little technologically challenged.
Hope you enjoy!

Dexter is now 12 weeks old and measuring in the 90th% in both height and weight. He's definitely a big boy, but I figure it's okay, because he appears to have the personality to back it up.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010


The first weekend after Dexter and I arrived in Illinois the whole family ventured into the city to check out our new home. It was overwhelming, to say the least, but spectacular all the same. Here are a couple of pictures of us in the city for everyone to snack on. Hopefully this will entice our friends and family to head in our direction for a quick visit. Just think, a free place to stay, the city of Chicago, and excellent company.
What more can you ask for?

Instead of driving, because we aren't totally insane, (aside from carrying our 5wk old around Chicago) we hopped on the metro and took a one hour ride straight into downtown. This is right after we arrived, hence the smile on Dave's face. Unfortunately Dexter couldn't stay awake long enough to enjoy the sights, but he got a good little ride at least, while his dad carried him all over the city.

The street performers were some of my favorite things. Yes, I am easy to please. There we're everything from musicians playing buckets, to tap dancers, to whole groups of kids doing acrobatics. The statue people we're not to shabby either. And they we're more then happy to snap a couple of pictures with the tourists.

I know what you're thinking, 'This is a 7-Eleven?' Well you are correct, but what I thought was so funny, was that it was stuck right in the bottom of these huge sky scrapers.
Not to mention the Beemer parked in front.
Pretty much the nicest 7-Eleven I've ever seen.

This is right out side of some fancy shmansy store. Dave and I stopped at the park area across the street to rest and found ourselves just feet from this orange Lamborghini (I think that what it is). All I know is that it looks like the car from 'Dumb and Dumber'. Classy gal, aren't I? Anywho, aside from what you may think, this isn't a picture of the car. But rather the crowd of people gathering around it. It was the funniest thing. People were coming from every direction to take a picture of themselves with another person's vehicle. Why in the world that is appealing I don't know, but I thought getting a picture of them doing it was pretty funny.

The water front was so beautiful, placed right down the center off all of the skyscrapers, that we stopped for a quick pic with the fam on our way back to the train. It was a long hot humid day, but super fun. I don't know how many times we'll be able to make it back into the city, but if I had a couple of house guests it would definitely give me cause. (wink-wink)

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Dexter Scott Collard

If you've ever wondered what a 5 foot 1 inch tall woman would look like at the end of carrying a 9 and a half pound baby, look no farther. This is me at 39 weeks 2 days, four days prior to the arrival of Dexter. And for all of you out there who said behind my back what a whiner I was at the end, I say SHAME ON YOU, because that was one big belly!

As for those who have not yet had that pleasure of hearing the story of how this little guy (I mean this in the loosest sense of the word) finally made his way in to the big bad world, here is the rundown.

After two weeks of early labor with contractions every 2 minutes I was still being refused admittance into the hospital. Although I was 80% effaced I was only dilated to a 1 and because Dexter's heart rate was steady, I was sent home from labor and delivery for the second time to "walk" my way into active labor.

At my 39 week check I was yet again disappointed when my doctor informed me although I was 90% effaced I was still holding strong at a 1. But never the less my belly was still rapidly growing and there was now a decision to be made. At 39 weeks I was measuring 43 weeks. Doing the math that means I was 4 weeks ahead (I was measuring beyond what a woman should measure when she delivers). The question was, do I try to be induced at a one, which heightens my chances of getting a C-section. Or do I go another week hoping I go into active labor, and risk having a c-section if the baby gets too big. Hmmmmm.....let me think. If I recall correctly I think my exact words to my doctor were "GET THIS THING OUT OF ME!"

So, at 39 wks 5 days I was admitted into the hospital. I was given meds to dilate my cervix for 12 hours that first night and was ecstatic to find I was finally at a two the next morning. This meant they could start me on petosin and give me an epidural. Oh Yes, an epidural. After weeks of contractions I finally got some much needed rest while I waited for my body to progress. Unfortunately throughout the day Dexter’s little heart struggled a bit and I was put on oxygen. But I smoothly dilated from a 2 to a 4 and I was ready to get the show on the road by late afternoon. Little did I know we would hit a road block. For six hours I stayed at a 4 and by 6:30pm my doc had to break the news to us. The baby was just too big for me and a cesarean was our only option in delivering.

So...I was prepped, as was Dave. We were given numerous talks about how easy the delivery was going to be and I was wheeled down to the operating room while Dave waited in the hallway to be called in. But, the minute the baby's heart monitor was placed the scene took an unexpected turn. Within three minutes Dexter's heart rate plummeted twice and controlled chaos had begun. I lay on the operating table as people swarmed around me. Nurses wheeled carts in as they poured iodine over my belly. The anesthesiologist began poking at me with a sharp tool only then realizing I still had feeling in my stomach. In minutes my doctor had arrived and was announcing to all in the room that they had to get the baby out NOW. As they laid a sheet over my head I listen to the room pick up pace once again, only to be overshadowed by the anesthesiologist yelling, "Wait! She can still feel that!" Which my doctor respond to with, "Put her out! We have got to get this baby out of her NOW!" And the next thing I knew the whole room went black.

As I was passing in and out of consciousness I remember a horrific amount of tugging from my belly and then Dave standing next to me as a nurse held Dexter up so I could see him. He was out, and healthy. Hours later, after being stitched, stapled, and scrubbed clean I was wheeled back to my recovery room to meet Dave and our baby boy. He was perfectly plump the chubbiest cheeks I’ve ever seen and a full head of black hair.

The next day my Doctor told us he had Dexter out in less than 60 seconds.

So, without further adieu, introducing:

Dexter Scott Collard, born July 15, 2010 at 7:49pm.

Weighing in at a whopping 9lbs 6oz, 21 inches long.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Small Update

Here are answers to a few questions we have received in the past while that we thought had already been mentioned.

Yes Steph and I are still alive.
No, we aren't in a ditch somewhere.
Yes, we live in Illinois. Lake Bluff, which is in the northern suburbs of Chicago (Chicagoland).
Yes, I am finally in school again. I attend Rosalind Franklin University, Scholl College of Podiatric Medicine.
Yes, Steph did come with me for the 7 years. (yes, this is an actual question Steph received on more than one occation)

Yes, school is 4 years + 3 year residency.
No, we probably won't be living permanently in Utah again.
Yes, Dexter is cute.
Yes, we took him with us.
Yes, he is still a chunky monkey.
We might bless him back in Utah in November.
Yes, we are awesome.

Hope that clears up any confusion.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010


Up until this point I have yet to post any pictures of my growing girth for the world to see.

So, here is a little stroll down memory lane to catch up all of my many admirers.




(Picture Pending)

So, I vowed I would never do this, but recent pressure has left me with no choice but to become one of those girls who posts her 'bare belly pictures' for the world to see. As you can tell I am no longer sporting a petite belly bump, but a full grown fetal mountain. With just six weeks to go, (I’m crossing my fingers for four), I’m no longer pacing myself, but growing more rapid then ever.


The following picture may not be suitable for children, adults, animals, or any others who have trouble viewing disturbing images.

WEEK 33.5

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Happy Birthday Steph!

Happy Birthday Steph. You look great for 21! (that means we got married at 15. ...?)

Just liv'n the dream and enjoying awesome cake I made, and enjoying her last few days of freedom.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

My New Hockey Scar

Last night I was skating at the ice rink, practicing for my new adult hockey class, and enjoying all the teenage love around me. While doing some tight figure-8’s and working on my cross-overs, I caught one of the edges of my skate and fell flat on my chest and then smashed my chin on the ice. I rolled over on my back, mostly embarrassed, and slowly got up. I then noticed that my chin was bleeding pretty badly. So, I went into the restroom and grabbed a tissue and finished my time left out on the ice. When I got home I mentioned to Steph that I split my chin open. She said “whaaa?….OH MY GOSH DAVE! (with a double take) You’re going to need stitches!” Good thing she was off last night or I would have spent the evening at home with part of my chin tissue hanging out of my face.
So, we drove up to the ER at the University of Utah Hospital. I had never had stitches before in all of my 29 years. When all was said and done, I got 7 of them in the chin. And this is my first hockey scar. Now I have something to brag about in my class.

The best comment of the night came from Steph on the way over when she said, tongue in cheek, “Oh, your beautiful face.”



Wednesday, January 20, 2010


Hello all! It has been ages since our last post, and that is only because we were waiting for something significant enough to happen to make it worth your time to read. It most definitely is not due to the fact that we are lazy and/or not computer savvy, but only because our lives are normally too dull to actually share.

Lucky for you, this is not the case at the moment.

But today Dave and I are very excited to share some changes that have recently happened in our lives

(or are soon to happen).

Our first order of business is that Dave has accepted an offer from the Rosland Franklin University in North Chicago to study Podiatry this coming fall. We are ecstatic for this adventure and welcome the long awaited change of pace. Though picking up and moving across the Country can be intimidating, we are extremely thrilled to try something new, and for Dave to have the opportunity to further his education.

We know we will be missed, and would like all of you to know…it was nice knowing you.

Just kidding! We are sad to leave our families,

but are also very anxious to move into the next faze of our lives.

Which brings me to our next order of business.

Dave and I are happy to announce we are now eagerly awaiting the arrival of our newest family member.


Happily plump…this is now my motto (or so I’m trying very hard for it to be).

I am due July 17, three weeks before we move to Chicago, which puts me currently at 14 weeks.

We can’t wait to see Fetus, and are excited to see if it really has t-rex arms,

like it appears in the ultra sound (Fetus gets that from Dave).

I have also posted the ultra sound pictures from our most recent visit

and hope everyone finds it as special as we did.

It was quite an exciting visit.

Fetus was doing flips like a little gymnast, and I think he gets that from me.